The Silent Refrain

If you believe it
You cannot deceive it
It will come back to haunt you in the end

What was the answer?
I knew it once
But I pushed it out of my head
So now as time passes I hear
The same old questions, never answers
Swirl around in my head

Connection to others
Requires effort (ugh)
I need to be reminded
Time and time again
Why it’s worth it–is it?

I only remember the pain – so vividly,
The refrain like a favourite song

What do I want?
I think I know some days
That silent touch
A soft kiss
Not much to ask?
It always depends on how it might end

Yet another fracture in my head
That opens when its quietest
Laying in the dark in my bed
Into which reaches the pain
The refrain, yes that again

It’s all I can-to feel

Daydreams rarely suffice
Although sometimes nice
It’s a way to shut out the silence

If you believe it
You cannot deceive it
It (always) comes back to haunt you in the end

Moving forward
Forward is moving
Getting better?
Stop! And check your mind

Another person to talk to
Another lost soul to find
Another day of survival
We’re all the same inside-alone

Pointlessness
Is the order of the day
Seems the empty minds
Now hold sway

Those like me
That feel the pain of being
So empty, so out of place
Watching, listening
Helplessly….
While the countdown rushes unchecked to the end.

Mark Catlin 2011