Tag Archives: Stigma

Revealing Me PtII

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Revealing Me. pt.II
This enemy inside
Takes away my pride
Invades my very soul
Won’t leave me alone.
Pushes against me
Day after day you see
Digs through all my pain
Most days are the same.
Yet another day I’m free
Just the real me
Rare, they come they go
It’s the only life I know.
Write out how I feel
So you can know it’s real
The strangeness that is me
What you get is what you see.

Mark Catlin—July2014.

I’m just working on “digitizing” my work (I work longhand), so I can post-it. A lot of the work I’ve been posting I’ve written as an expression of my Manic Depression (now called Bi-polar disorder) it’s my way of saying “this is me, I’m no longer afraid of the stigma that goes hand in hand with mental health problems” So bear with me-more to follow. M

Shame

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I wonder if you can see
I wonder if you can tell
I wonder if you see through
The mask I wear so well
I’ll never let you know
What’s going on inside me
My shame, locks me down

All the things I wanted to tell you
All the things I never will
Every time you reached out to me
All I did was push you away
I can’t unchain the beast
That screams inside me
I hate it, it’s what I am

[Chorus]
It makes me sick to be so mean
From where I’ve been
And what I’ve seen
From top to bottom
I am obscene
It stands in my place
It spits in my face
Shame

You smile at me, I smile back
You ask me how I am
I tell you that I’m fine
I don’t know why
I’m so torn up inside my mind
The darkness, it swallows me whole

[Chorus]

It makes that old lie
It makes that old lie
It makes me look at myself
And say Man, you’re doing just fine
You’re doing great
I’m not living in a lie
I’m not living in a lie or am I?

Don’t go too deep
Don’t ask me why
Don’t try to know me
Don’t make me lie
I wish
I didn’t know the things
I know so well
I try to change
But it’s what I am

It makes me sick to be so mean
From what I’ve been
And what I’ve seen
From top to bottom
I am obscene
It stands in my place
It spits in my face
It’s shame, shame
Am I living in a lie?

Lyrics:Henry Rollins

Scarecrow

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Scarecrow
I’ve got the ragged clothes
And the matted down hair
And the cold dark eyes
To provide that icy stare
Some day’s I’m so weak
I feel I’m made of straw
But, unlike a real scarecrow
I do have a heart

I’m feeling like a scarecrow and the people are the crows
I’ve got to look like a menace
So that they don’t come too close
But there’s one thing that these crows can’t see
Sometimes I’m just as afraid of them as they are of me 

Everyday these crows rip at me
But I don’t budge
I’ve become so used to them
To their actions
I am numb
Oh, but some days ignorance is oh, so hard

Lyrics & Music SNFU

SNaFU (Acronym)
American Military Radio-Speak from Vietnam war stands for;
Situation Normal all F***ked Up