A group of privileged vigilantes have called for councils across the nation to see off homeless people in order to protect the Tory-voting urban bourgeoisie from offense. Armed with posh Nikon cameras, a book on phrenology and a crystal ball, they have taken to the streets to try and catch out the millionaires who are scamming the public by dressing up in pauper rags and begging.
“Some of these homeless people are rubbish at living in houses and are being incompetently hungry in full view of everyone,” says Mr Harris Mint.
“But we know a large number of them are Marxists and some are millionaires. Some of them are faking malnutrition and thinness. Whatever next. They should go and take their fake pauperism with them.
Mr Vinnie Dicktive, the group gossip and lead curtain twitcher, said “Everyone here knows these people are really trying to make everyone else miserable…
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